Judge: Objection sustained. I'm sorry Prosecutor, but at most you've only proven the theoretical existence of a net good person. You don't even know if you are one yourself.
Prosecutor: That's true your honor. With your permission, I'll try again.
Judge: Proceed.
Prosecutor: (addressing The Witness) Isn't it true that you allow bad things to happen to PEOPLE? Just people?
Defender: Objection, Foundation.
Judge: (surprised) Well, now I don't understand your objection Defender. Surely you are not questioning the existence of people in the midst of a trial to determine the existence of their alleged creator.
Defender: No your honor. I am quite sure that people exist. It's the other part of Prosecutor's question to which I was objecting. He has not established a proper foundation for the existence of a "bad thing".
Judge: Defender, I have to say I am at a loss. Surely you are not questioning whether bad things happen. Look around at the World. Are you contending that you yourself have never suffered a bad thing?
Defender: Yes I've suffered from circumstances that I didn't like. I admit that your honor. I just can't say that those were objectively bad things that happened to me.
Judge: (confused) So you don't know whether the things that caused you to suffer were bad or not. Is that right?
Defender: That's right. I don't know if they were objectively bad. Take my rejection from my first choice for law school. I thought it was completely unfair. I burned about it for months. It was the worst thing that happened to me in years.
Judge: So that was a bad thing?
Defender: Well, there's the problem your honor. When I didn't get my first choice, I went to my second choice, and that is where I met my wife. So, that thing, the rejection, changed from a bad thing to the best thing that ever happened to me within only a few years.
Judge: OK, I can see how a bad thing could change into a good thing with the passage of time. But you would have to admit this: at the time of the rejection, before you met your wife, it was a bad thing at that moment.
Defender: Perhaps, but I think you're forgetting about the other guy your honor.
Judge: What other guy?
Defender: The guy who got into my first choice law school because I was rejected. My rejection was not a bad thing for him at all. It might have been a great thing for him. Or it might have been a horrible thing if the love of his life was going to his second choice law school and he never met her. We don't know. That's my point. Because any given thing can change from bad to good over time and be both good and bad to different people at the same time, I don't think we humans can ever point to any single thing and say that it is objectively bad. Only a creature with an infinite capacity to see all time at once and who can look into deeply into the heart of man can make that assessment.
Judge: (pensively turning to The Witness) Sir, do you have the capacity the Defender speaks of? Are you big enough to see all time and all hearts at once?
The Witness: I am.
Judge: So you would be the one who could tell the Court whether there has ever been an objectively bad thing?
The Witness: I am.
Judge (hesitating) Will you tell me? Are there bad things?
The Witness: I will answer your question if you will answer mine. When one farmer needs rain for it is the perfect time to moisten his crop, but his neighbor needs sunshine for it is the perfect time to warm his crop, would rain on their town be a bad thing or a good thing?
Judge: (considering the question for a few moments) I don't know the answer to your question. I suppose it depends on a lot of variables. It's beyond my capability to know, to understand. I'm only a man.
The Witness: I agree. And that is why I will not tell you whether there is such a thing as a bad thing.
Judge: So what is man to do when things do happen to him or others that he doesn't like--things that at least seem bad to him? Like murder or rape or famine. Should we just give up trying to understand what those things mean?
The Witness: I suppose man could completely give up. After all, you have been trying long enough to completely understand. It's all or nothing with you I guess. But there is a third way.
Judge: What is it?
The Witness: You could learn to trust Me by getting to know who I am. You could try relying on on My character for truth rather than frantically seeking truth without My help, only to reject Me when you don't like what you find without Me. Just a suggestion. The decision is yours. Unlike these "things" you are so concerned with, you will find that my character never changes.
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