Bootstrap Joe

     We all know Bootstrap Joe.  The dude has energy to burn.  He more than just believes in doing things right (we all believe in it, don't we), helives it.  Aye, Bootstrap Joe builds his life around the doing of things right.  It's his temple.  The Temple of the Doing.  

     Bootstrap Joe can spin on a dime.  When confronted with a thing he's never before thought of doing Bootstrap Joe will say, "nah, that's crazy, that won't work."  Three days later, you find Bootstrap Joe going gangbusters doing that very thing like his hair was on fire.  What happened?  Well, Joe thought about it a bit and realized that the new thing was the right thing after all and needed doing right, and well, when there is a right thing that needs doing right there you will find Bootstrap Joe doing it like crazy.    

     Bootstrap Joe has to do the doing himself.  You can't help Bootstrap Joe do the doing.  If you try to let Bootstrap Joe precede you from the elevator, he will insist that you go first.  You might as well give in because the doors will close and you'll be stuck in there with Joe riding to the top floor if you don't.  And he'll be mad.  That's Joe.  He's here to serve, not to be served.  Don't forget it.  

     For Bootstrap Joe, the most sublime scripture is a Bible verse that Is Not:  God helps those who help themselves.  This little piece of Emotional Apocrypha keeps Bootstrap Joe separated from Christ.  When Jesus slid his bowl of soapy water before Peter and reached out for that first filthy foot, Peter pulled it back--"no, you shall never wash my feet."  (John 13:8).  Nope, not Peter, the Bootstrap Joe of The Twelve.  If his feet need washing, he'll do it himself.  The Lord's response:  "unless I wash you, you have no part with me."  (id).  

     I think it one of the Devil's great tricks to turn vice to virtue in the mind of a sinner and then get him to preach it.  To serve may be virtue, but what then is one's refusal to be served?  If Joe is right, that God will only help him who helps himself, what logic is there in serving another if his very acceptance of that service would be sin?  

     So then, when Bootstrap Joe sincerely acknowledges the Lord, how does He cure Joe's heart?  Perhaps by demonstrating to Joe the futility of his self-reliance.  After Peter disowned Christ, just as He had predicted, Peter "went outside and wept bitterly."  (Luke 22:62).  

     Like everything else Bootstrap Joe finally embraces, the crying jag is something to behold.  Not a manly kind of crying (single tear leaving track through prairie dust on face).  No, this would be the snot-bubbling and lip-quivering kind of crying jag that befits a man who believes in doing things right.  Let go of those Bootstraps, Joe.  In fact, take the Boots completely off so those dirty feet of yours can be washed.  Time to come back home.